I'm Screwed
by MoonlightxParasite
Summary: Anna, definition bad girl. She smokes, has sex, and other things she shouldn't be doing. So what happens when she finds a muscular tanned teen on her bed along with a pale one? Well, let's say that her life just got a whole lot more complicated.
1. Boys on the Bed

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Danny, Anna, and Jessica...And the other characters you have never heard about.**

**Hope you like it! It's going to be funny, but a little bit of sadness in it too.**

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**-Anna-**

It was a perfectly normal day for me. Popular people made fun of me since I was the only punk skater person on the Volleyball team and I got into a fight with some bitch I didn't even know on the way home. I couldn't help it if I liked to smoke and skate after school. It was just my thing you know.

So, I'm a bad influence. I'm not even going to lie about that. I smoke, skate in illegal areas, drink, party, vandalize, and have sex. I'm definition party girl at my school. Sure, I was popular and had some popular friends, but my reputation was bad at my school…very bad…It was mostly because of all of the fights I was in and all of the sex I had with the jocks at my school.

I walked up my stairs with my black backpack slung over my arms. My outfit today consisted of an Element T-shirt, black faded jeans, and pink Vans to match my shirt. A beanie hat concealed my shoulder length brown hair while my blue eyes were outlined in black eyeliner. I had bracelets covering both arms while black nail polish coated my nails. Yeah, all around bad influence if you ask me.

I suddenly heard a huge crash come from inside my room that was down the hall. My brother Danny was probably in there.

"Danny! What did I tell you about being in my room!" I yelled from the top of my lungs as I ran to my bedroom door and opened it. What was in there was far from my eleven year old brother. There were two, count it, two guys on my bed passed out. On was very muscular and tan. He kind of looked Indian. Then the other was pale, and less muscular, but had a toned body. The Indian one was lying across the bed with his feet dangling on the edge while the pale one was lying on top of him.

I stared at them in shock. They just lay there, passed out on my freaking bed! I slowly walked over to my phone, dialing my best friends' number. After about three rings, Jessica answered.

"Dude, get your ass over here," I whispered into the phone.

"_Why are you whispering?"_

"There are two guys…on my bed…passed out," I explained. "I'm getting my baseball bat and I'm going to sit here and wait for you."

"…_Are you on something?"_

"No! Just get over here!"

"_Fine, I'll be there in a few minutes_," she groaned before hanging up.

I hung up my phone and went over to get my baseball bat. I took my computer chair and rolled it to the end of my bed. I sat down in it, watching them. It was kind of weird just staring at them. I kept on getting this thought that they were butt buddies or something like that. Not a good thought when they could probably strangle you.

The pale one started murmuring in a very beautiful voice. He was still sleeping though. "Bella…my Bella…"

I raised an eyebrow when the Indian started saying things. "No…my Bella…she's mine…" I suppressed a laugh.

"I…had her first…mongrel…"

Wait, they were fighting over the same girl in their sleep. Okay this was hilarious. They continued on like that until I heard a knock at my door. Jessica, a tanned girl with pink highlights in her blonde hair came into my room and stopped dead in her tracks.

"You weren't lying," she whispered. She walked up a little more and nearly squealed. "That's Edward and Jacob!"

"Eh…what?"

"From Twilight!"

"What's Twilight?"

She glared at me. "Remember that book a long time ago I read?"

I thought back, shaking my head.

"I'll get you the series, but let's wait for them to wake up. This should be interesting."

"How?"

"You'll see…"

**o.0…………..o.0**

Three whole hours had passed and they still hadn't woken up. Jessica had heard their Bella conversation and that only made her more excited. I was texting on my phone when I heard a huge sigh coming from my bed. I looked up, watching the pale one, Edward from what Jessica said, sit up and stretch. I put a hand over Jessica's mouth so that she wouldn't squeal in joy.

"Bella?" he said. He looked at the bed and screamed. The tanned one got up and fell off the bed, before getting into a fighting stance like the other one. I couldn't help it. I toppled over laughing along with Jessica.

"Who are you?" asked Edward in confusion.

I got up along with my friend, but still had the baseball bat.

"I'm Anna and this is Jessica."

"Marry me!" pleaded Jessica to Edward.

"Um…no…"

It was an awkward silence between all of us. "So…" I began. "Are you guys…butt buddies or something?"

"WHAT? NO!" they both yelled.

"He's a vampire!" yelled the guy named Jacob.

"He's a freaking werewolf!"

I put my hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay…It's just you guys looked pretty comfortable when you were sleeping that's all."

"No Anna!" said Jessica. "If you read Twilight you'd know that they love Bella and are mortal enemies! They're not gay."

I had to laugh. "Well some people on FanFiction feel a little different on that subject."

"You go on ?" she asked in disbelief. "I thought I was the only one!"

"I did it out of curiosity one day alright. And what's with the whole EdwardxCarlisle? I mean, it was hot and stuff, but wow…"

"Wait…what?" said Edward. "What do you me EdwardxCarlisle?"

"Don't worry about it," I said with a laugh. "I'm sure your father is really good in bed isn't he?"

Edward's eyes bulged and Jacob toppled over laughing.

"I wouldn't be laughing," I said to him. "At least he's not banging a guy named Embry."

This time Edward laughed and Jacob stared at me like I had two heads. I started to pace the room with my bat in hand. Jessica just stared at the two like she was in heaven. I rolled my eyes and thought. Edward and Jacob are part of a book series, that much I know. They end up on my bed, how the hell does that happen?

"We're part of a book series?" asked Edward.

"I didn't say that."

"You thought it."

I looked at Jessica. "Why didn't you tell me he was a mind reader you dunce!" I bopped her in the head before pacing again.

"How the hell did you guys get here anyway?" I asked while turning to them. They were glaring at each other, but kept their distance.

"I don't know," said Jacob. He said down in one of my bean bag chairs. "All I remember is pouncing on Edward and then we ended up here."

"What about you?" I asked Edward.

"Same thing, only I was being pounced on by this pup."

"Oh shut up leech!"

"You know what?" he asked, but I silenced him by throw a baseball at his head. He looked at me and then sat down on my gaming chair. He should not have sat there because I've…done things on that chair. Edward stood straight up and glared at me.

"You should still be a virgin Anna," he said to me.

I shrugged. "I'm seventeen; I can do what I want." I looked out the window. "It's not like anyone cares…" His eyes softened, but he said nothing. Jessica hugged me before the door opened to reveal my eleven year old brother looking at me with a football in his hand. He had the same brown hair as me, but had brown eyes like my father. "What the fuck do you want?" I sneered.

"Mom and Dad won't be home tonight so I need dinner." He looked at Edward and Jacob with wide eyes. "I'm telling mom!" he yelled. I got up and grabbed him by the collar.

"You tell mom and I'll make your life a living hell Daniel! It's not like I'm going to sleep with them!"

"You do it all the time though," he yelled back.

"Yeah, but these guys are…different…Now if you promise to keep quiet," I reached into my pocket and pulled out a roll of hundreds. I pulled two hundred dollar bills out of it. "I'll give you two hundred dollars and I'll take you shopping."

"Double it," he demanded. I heard Jacob chuckle.

"Fine," I said. "But one peep and I'll beat the living shit out of you." I gave him the four hundred and he looked over at the guys.

"Come on," I muttered while lifting him up and carrying him over my shoulder downstairs. **(A/N She's very slim, but she is also strong with the whole volleyball crap. Plus her brother is pretty slim too.)** He laughed like always and I cracked a smile. We had a love/hate relationship. I put him on the barstool set up by the island in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and peered in. "Do you want…spaghetti…or…I could make you an omelet."

"Omelet please," he said.

"What about you Jessica!" I called. I turned and they were all behind me. "Do you want an omelet?"

"Yeah."

"Can I have, like, five?" asked Jacob.

"Five?"

"He's a werewolf Anna," said Jessica. "They eat a lot."

"Are you going to suck my blood Edward?" I asked. Danny's eyes widened as he scooted his barstool a little bit away from him.

"I'll go find an animal." He disappeared out of sight and Danny gulped.

"Vampire? Werewolf?" asked Danny.

"Jessica explain," I said while getting out the eggs. This was going to be very…interesting.

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**Ello!**

**Ah, much better to write than the other. Lol. Review**

**Missa.**


	2. Party

**-Anna-**

My head pounded as I woke up, naked, on my bed and swatted away empty cans of beer and an empty bottle of scotch. Jessica was passed out on my bean bag while Jacob watched TV while eating Cheerios. Edward was glowering at me in a corner as I sat up with my covers covering my bare body. I looked over on my bed to see my long time buddy Greg also naked and still passed out.

I took a tennis ball and whipped it at Jessica. She groaned before falling off the bean bag and onto the floor. Jacob chuckled while getting up and leaving the room.

"How are you Anna!" yelled Edward. I groaned and fell back on my bed before putting my pillow over my head. "You doing fine!"

"Shut up!" I yelled back.

"Who the fuck is yelling?" asked Greg as he got up and put on his boxers. He looked over at Edward. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Get out," he sneered. Greg didn't hesitate. He grabbed his clothes and ran.

"See you at school Anna!" he yelled before slamming the door behind him. I winced as I glared at Edward who was smiling in satisfaction.

"What?" I asked while wrapping my covers around my body and getting up. I walked over to my dresser, trying to find something to wear for the day.

"Do you like it when guys are on top of you when you know you won't end up with them? Don't you feel guilty for doing this with someone you don't even love?"

I shrugged. "It's been that way for a couple of years Eddie."

"Don't call me that."

"Then don't question the way I live. I don't question your life style so you should return the favor some time."

"Do you know what you did last night? Do you know what your brother did? Do you even know what you said?"

I thought back, shaking my head.

**-Edward- (The previous night)**

I watched as teenagers upon teenagers walked through the door with booze, party games, and condoms in hand. Anna greeted them all and told some of the guys to set up some music. Jacob sat on the couch with a beer in hand while Jessica started making numerous party drinks. Even Danny was drinking some beer.

"Anna," I said as ten girls seemed to crowd around me.

"You don't want Anna," slurred a blonde. "I can show you so much more than she can."

"I'm not interested," I told her while looking straight into her eyes before walking out of the crowd and looking for Anna. I found her near Danny who was getting drunker by the minute.

"Anna," he said while taking a shot of tequila. "I love you. I…I know I never tell you that but I love you. You're like, whoa," he stumbled a bit on the bar. Some of his friends were there too and laughed. "You're like," he started again. "I don't know but you're like something."

"Thanks," giggled Anna as some guy started kissing her neck.

_You're so hot Anna. I want you,_ thought the guy as he started groping her. I growled and ripped him off of her. He looked at me in fear before running away. I turned to see Jacob playing video games and he tripped him before turning back to the game. Everyone was drunk, but me and him. He laughed at me before he turned back towards the game.

"Anna, shouldn't you stop this?" I asked her.

She thought for a second, then her head turned right to me. She looked at my forehead. "Dude," she whispered. "The AOL guy is on your head."

"What?" I asked.

"The AOL guy…is on your head." She was completely mesmerized by it. I touched my forehead and she turned her head to the window. She gasped. "Harry Potter is peeing on my tree." She gasped again and started waving. "Hi Harry Potter."

"Anna…Harry Potter isn't peeing on your tree."

She turned her head to the side, looking at me. "Am I pretty?"

I looked over at Jacob who nodded and walked up to us. "You're very pretty Anna," he said with a smile. She giggled and stumbled a bit. Then she frowned and fell back on a bar stool.

"Then…how come no one will date me?" she asked through some tears. She took a shot and drank it while Jacob and I looked at each other with frowns. "I think…I think I'm going to go to sleep…" Her eyes began to shut, but then they went wide opened when she saw a guy, who by the girls' minds was named Greg, came over to her. "Hey Greg," she smiled while kissing him on the lips. "Wanna go upstairs?"

"Oh yes…" he smirked, but there was some kind of love in his eyes. _I wish you'd stop this Annabelle…_, he thoughts rang in my head before he helped her up the stairs.

**-Edward- (Present time)**

She didn't know what she said to me and Jacob, so I wouldn't tell her. I nodded.

"Well, just take a shower and I'll get you some coffee."

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**Ello!**

**Not much humor in this chapter, it was a filler**

**Missa.**


	3. Edward is a Virgin!

**-Anna-**

I jumped up and down on the couch while listening to "Girlfriend" by Avril Leviegn (forgot how to spell the last name) when Edward walked into the room. So, I decided to change up the lyrics just a tad.

_Hey, hey, you, you,_

_Edward is a virgin!_

_No way, no how._

_He protects is virtue._

_Hey, hey, you, you_

_Edward is a virgin!_

_Oh yeah!_

Jacob's laughter erupted from the kitchen as Edward growled at me. I smiled while turning off the song and sitting down on the couch. "I wouldn't be laughing Jacob. You're still one too!" His laughter ceased and he walked into the living room with a glare.

"How do you know that?"

"I actually read the whole entire Twilight series at school this week. I actually surprised myself."

"Is that why you were glaring at me on Tuesday? Did you read something you didn't like?" asked Edward.

"Yeah, you leaving Bella and making her a depressed zombie. Not cool man. I know you love her and all, but then trying to commit vampires suicide? You are a virgin idiot."

"Would you shut up about that?"

"So do you slap it, like, fifteen times a day? Do you have a little picture of Bella to help?"

"You're worse than Emmett!" he yelled before stomping out of the room. He was worse than a drama queen.

"Why's Edward yelling?" asked Danny as he walked downstairs.

"I made fun of him because he's a virgin," I answered with a smile.

Danny busted out laughing. "He's…a virgin? What is Bella still waiting till marriage?"

"No," said Jacob. "She wants to have sex with him, but he was to protect her virtue."

"Edward, you're such a pussy."

"No, he wants Bella's pussy," laughed Jacob.

"Shut up!" he yelled from upstairs. How the hell did he get up there? Oh, vampire speed duh.

"I'm sorry, were we interrupting your 'special time' Edward?" asked Danny. Jeez, Danny was as bad me as.

Edward appeared in front of us with his arms crossed over his chest. "There's a surprise on your bed Anna," he smiled evilly. My smiled dropped and I shot up from my couch. I ran up the stairs and into my room.

"Oh god…" I breathed because there was a teenaged pale guy on my bed with blonde hair. Next to him was a girl with equal blonde hair and had a beauty that could rival Aphrodite's. "No," I shook my head.

"Anna, meet Jasper and Rosalie."

**-Meanwhile, back in the Twilight book series…-**

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Alice, and I were sitting on the couches in the living room thinking. Edward was gone, along with Rosalie and Jasper. How could someone just up and disappear like that? My Edward, upping and disappearing. I missed him.

"Where could they have gone?" asked Emmett. He giggled and I looked at him with puzzlement. "Someone is making fun of Edward being a virgin."

"How do you know this?" asked Alice.

"It's just something that connects me and Edward. I always know when someone is making fun of his virginity."

The doorbell rang, Carlisle appearing at the door. He opened it, revealing the pack. "Um…" said Sam. "We kind of have a problem…"

"What?" I asked while getting up.

"Jacob disappeared without a trace and we can't find his mind when we turn…"

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**Ello!**

**Just thought I'd give you a little insight on what's happening in the Twilight universe. Kind of feel sorry, but not sorry enough to make them go back. Review!**

**Missa.**


	4. Uncle T

-**Edward-**

Jasper and Rosalie paced Anna's room as Danny, Jess, Jacob, and I watched in fascination. Anna was skimming online to refresh her memory about the two. She was freaking out right now. I couldn't help but smile. Just the way her eyes moved frantically down the lines of words made me hold a chuckle.

"So you're saying that we ended up in a different universe?" asked Rosalie in confusion. She could be a blonde sometimes.

"Yeah," sneered Jess. _Fucking bitch being mean to Bella all the time. Who cares if Bella wants to be a vampire? It's her choice not Rose's. _

My eyes widened at Jess's thoughts. I didn't think she hated my sister that much. I looked over at Anna who was typing away at something. She would sometimes look over at the two, but then back at the screen. _Why did Royce have to rape Rosalie? Maybe she would've been nicer if that hadn't happened. Hell, she wouldn't even be in my room at this point in time…_ There was some logic in her thoughts. The sound of a Disturbed song filled my ears as Anna took out her cellphone. "Hello daddy," she said in a bored voice as she read on. "What about mom?...Alright whatever…Could you ship some sushi over then?...Alright!" she sounded annoyed now. "Oh, you need to stock up on some more liquor. I had a party and there's going to be another one in about a week…Yeah I have my ID…Which credit you have like fifty?...Alright bye…" She snapped her phone shut in anger and slammed it into the wall. "Camilla and Dad are taking another honeymoon Danny," she said while clicking away. "Uncle Thomas is coming over later so get your room cleaned." _Why does dad and Camilla have to take another honeymoon? Doesn't he know that she's banging his right hand man Will? I wish he hadn't divorced Mom. I really miss her…_

"Yes!" said her little brother in excitement as he left the room. She chuckled while clicking a little more.

"I think what Royce did to you was completely unfair," mumbled Anna as she got up from her computer desk and went to her closet. She fumbled around for a few seconds before throwing bottles of liquor, cartons of cigarette, and bags of weed onto her bed that was about ten feet away. Jacob was on the bed too and had to dodge a bottle of Captain Morgan before falling on the floor. "He should burn in hell for what he did."

"Thanks?" said Rosalie who was completely shocked by what was unfolding in front of her.

"Hey Danny!" she shouted. He responded with a "Yeah?" "Do you know where my condoms are?"

"In your underwear drawer you pinhead!" he shouted before cursing to himself. Anna walked over to her drawer and started throwing thongs and bras every which way. One landed on Jasper's head and he freaked. Jess laughed her ass off along with Rosalie.

"Could I ask why you're getting these things out?"

"Uncle Thomas equals party to the break of dawn," smiled Anna as she went into her bathroom. She came out with a hookah and some lemon, coffee, and mint flavored tobacco. She went to her phone, dialing some numbers before putting it to her ear. "Jess," she said to her friend that was looking through the bottle of alcohol. She tossed her a set of keys. "The purple one unlocks the liquor cabinet. Get all the whiskey and shot glasses out." Someone answered on the other side of the phone. "Greg, get a group and come over around eight thirty. Tommy's coming and he's probably bringing lots and lots of people with him." She didn't even wait for his reply. She just shut the phone before diving under her bed.

"I thought we were going to figure out how to get us back into the book?" asked Jasper.

"That was before I found out I was going to have a party tonight. We'll just do it tomorrow after I get off of my hangover." She stood up with a bottle of White Lightening whiskey. "It would be a good time you guys to loosen up. Well, at least Edward that is." She looked at me. "You seriously need to get laid. It's the only way to loosen up really."

"She's right," said Rosalie as she started looking at the contents on her bed.

I sighed. Being a virgin wasn't going to be a good thing if I was stuck in this universe.

**-Jasper-**

Anna came downstairs with a pair of black ripped jeans on with matching flats on. Her hair was done up to show off her layers and there was a plaid belt around her jeans along with a purple Foxy shirt over her torso. Alice would kill for her outfit. She had painted her fingernails black with chunky bracelets around her wrists. Only she wouldn't like the cigarette in Anna's mouth. It made her look like a dragon whenever she blew out the smoke.

"Hey Jazzy," she said with a smile before walking into the living room and setting up her Wii. Jacob sat in the corner with Danny, both of them drinking a beer. My family and I were standing near the stairs.

The doorbell rang and both siblings squealed as they ran to the front door and opened it. A man, around twenty-five, embraced both of them in a hug. I noticed people that looked like drug dealers were behind him with set faces. Only their Uncle looked the cruelest of all. He had the sharp features a vampire could have, but he was tan. He long jet black hair was tied up in a low ponytail. A small goatee marked his face along with a scar along his left cheek, the mark of shame. He wore an all black business suit along with his comrades. I didn't like the guy one bit.

"Hello my princess and prince," he smiled while kissing the top of their heads with a smile. "I bring you gifts." He snapped his fingers as they made their way into the living room. Two of this mean, both blonde twins, gave one suitcase to Anna and the other to Danny.

Danny opened his first as we all piled into the living room. His had money in it along with a pocket knife with a seagull etched into the silver. I looked over at Anna's and was completely shocked. She had the same amount of money along with a gun with a serpent on the handle. There was even a matching pocket knife that had green tinted metal with a serpent on the handle. Who were these people? I reached out to Thomas' feelings. He seemed to have an emotion I couldn't really set into play. He seemed victorious in a way as he watched his nephew and niece marvel at their gifts. Why did I feel like there was more to the story than they were giving my family and Jacob?

**-Rosalie-**

The party was well underway. Drunken teenaged boys worshiped me but most of the attention was on Anna. She was having a huge brawl against this brunette prep that called her family good-for-nothing. And Danny was helping! He was pinning the brunette back so that Anna could give her some really hard punched in the stomach. My siblings and I couldn't help because we didn't know what to do. We couldn't really do much to the fact that we didn't want to interfere with their nightly activities. I know it was cruel to let the girl get the crap beaten out of her, but we've never been in a situation like this before.

Thomas and his thugs dragged the brunette out of the party with satisfied grins on their faces. I looked over at Danny and Anna who were now smoking a cigarette to relieve their stress. I could feel Jasper send waves of calm towards her. This was really messed up. How could an uncle praise that kind of behavior? If they were my kids I'd slap them all the way to Christmas with Emmett's help! I missed my husband dearly.

"Hey Uncle T," shouted Anna. Her uncle was flirting with a high school student, but looked her way. Anna took a drag of her cigarette before continuing as she walked over to him. She was only ten feet away from us. "Upstairs, second room to your left. Show, Britney here a good time." She handed her uncle a condom and Britney a capsule of birth control. "Better safe than sorry." I stared at her wide eyed as she went to the far side of the room to get another shot of whiskey. Edward looked livid to the greatest extent.

**-Let's check up on the gang back in the book-**

I sighed, the only thing I could do since I was the only human in the room. We all sat in silence, wondering what to do. We didn't know where everyone was, but it was starting to piss us off. Emmett hasn't had sex in about three days and that's a long time for a boy that big. No pun intended there. Seriously…

"Well I guess we just wait," said Sam. "It's the best thing we can do."

"Yeah," sighed Carlisle. "I think I'll go into my office later." He got the remote and starting turning channels on the TV until he reached football. All of the guys relax while us woman just rolled our eyes. Guys and their football, it never ceases to amaze us.

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**Ello!**

**Sorry for the long delay but I haven't had anything funny happen in my life yet. I figure out something funny…Maybe next chapter they'll show up at Anna's school.**

**Missa.**


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